The Fitba Nomad ‘Pub of the Year’ 2024: The Steamboat, South Shields
The moment I walked in the door I knew. While half way through my first pint and my decision was confirmed: The Steamboat in South Shields was gonna be my final ‘Pub of the Year’. Beautiful place, full to the brim with historical knick-knacks related to the town and her maritime history; ships wheels, model galleons, glass casted knots and auld harbour photos are joined by a collection of trolls, a wee bit of pirate stuff and endless awards. This place had CAMRA Awards coming out of its arse, both regionally and nationally as well as plaques given to the pub by author Catherine Cookson. Despite all this stuff covering every wall, shelf & windowsill this boozer was dust free, the aged wood counters & panelling were gleaming.
As a local museum of antiquities: five stars. However, as a pub it was even better. Eight cask lines to get the real ale boys beards a quivering, which included a range of local gear and (rather unusually) a mango cider. This Somerset concoction was sublime and I stuck to it for the evening, even with Beavertown & Shipyard offering on tap. Beyond the cask & keg, The Steamboat has rums galore; from supermarket fare, to classics like Pussar’s Gunpowder Proof and rarely seen stuff in skull shaped bottles. Drinks were served by a young staff who were knowledgeable & enthusiastic, rather than dour & just there for college/uni funds.
Looks fantastic, the drink selection is legendary, while the service was top drawer but, as ‘Football is Nothing Without Fans’ then ‘Pubs are Nothing Without Punters’ and the punters here were some of the best I’ve encountered. Great guys, not just Catweazle lookin’ real ale folk, but drinkers of all ages having a rare old time and welcoming a gang of random Scotsmen into their ‘home’. A special mention to the retired rugby star who playfully tried to tackle two thirds of my entourage.
Honourable Mentions
In Kirkcaldy I found two excellent pubs but The Penny Farthing just trumped Betty Nicols by virtue of her quirkiness and uniqueness. A weird, wonderful & wondrous place; The Penny Farthing was attired in rich velour wallpaper and supple leather seating, with pictures of Edwardian gentlemen on the titular bicycles as well as photos of minor seventies celebrities. It was a warm, glowing & welcoming oasis near the centre of a cold, lifeless & largely abandoned High Street that lurked right outside the door. The service was swift and the drink grand, with the added bonus of banter & light slagging bouncing to & fro over the counter along with money & change. Next up in Newburgh is one of only two boozers remaining from the eight that once made up the towns ‘marathon’ pub crawl; The Bear Tavern. Outside everything appeared to be normal, but inside she is the most homely public house I’ve ever set foot in with twin sofas in front of a fireplace, big mirror over the mantle and a fish tank in the corner. At the bar were a super-friendly band of local worthies, regulars well known to one another and the woman serving, who ask where I’m from and what I’m doing in their wee town. One was even familiar with my native Tillicoultry and may have been a childhood sweetheart of my late Auntie Carol. I was so comfortable here, I could’ve remained all afternoon and (as long as Mum was willing to commit to a daily commute) would have loved The Bear to become my regular haunt. Sitting on a stool drinking the local Lindores single malt & chatting to the punters was a real wee slice of heaven and I’m desperate to get back for another (bigger) piece soon. Another too far away for frequent visits, despite yearning for more nights out there, is The Kadikoi Bar in Kilmarnock. ‘The Kadi’ was once an ‘infamous’ Killie nightspot but, under new management and with money lavished on her, she has now become the place to go for an evening out in Ayrshire’s largest town. Great regulars, an interesting cocktail shot ‘Wheel of Fortune’ and excellent service guaranteed. To quote John Cleese it’s “Now for something completely different.” as we finish wi’ a pub in the heart of Forfar with dual themes of No 10 Downing Street & classic British rock music. Café Bar 10 was not something I expected to find in the home of the bridie, but it was fucking excellent; with stenciled quotes from Sex Pistols gaffer Malcolm McLaren on the walls, the ‘Ladies’ & ‘Gents’ renamed ‘Thatchers’ & ‘Churchills’ and Mötorhead beers on tap. The place was gorgeous, but most importantly they were able to furnish me with a top notch French Martini. Thus I was able to raise a toast to my wee sister, Forfar Athletic having been my first adventure since her sudden passing just weeks before.
The Fitba Nomad ‘Club of the Year’ 2024: Nithsdale Wanderers
While watching Nithsdale in the pissing rain & lashing wind at Lorimer Park a strong feeling grew inside me. By half time that notion became manifest when I said to my driver for the day “There is something very special here at Sanquhar.” Interestingly, my chauffeur Mattie (who is as well acquainted with the non-league game as I, despite his unredeemable shame of being a Stirling Albion fan) was very much in agreement, the only issue we had was putting a finger on what made this resurrected South of Scotland Football League side so special. After much thought however, I have identified several reasons why they should be crowned my final ‘Club of the Year’ and have presented them below.
The ground could win prizes for an exceptional social club & superbly maintained pitch, but the rest of it (while pretty) was pretty basic. Sat exposed to the full force of some wild weather, in a remote area reminiscent of Dartmoor, Lorimer Park was over-looked by a spooky bastard ‘Baskerville Hall’ and a solemn looking ‘Church of Grimpen Mire’, as well as a rather non Scooby-Doo Thames Petrol Station. The park contains a cooncil running track around the pitch (which was miraculously playable, given nearby Kello Rovers had called their game off hours before), while two wooden dugouts sat on opposite touchlines and, beside the floodlights, that was about it. The afore mentioned social club was huge, has the biggest clock ever and in here is where we saw a large part of what makes Nithsdale great; her volunteers. First up the folk running the bar/pie shoap; who never stopped during the several hours we were there. Whether they were heating pies, prepping the post-match sarnies, serving customers, pouring pints, clearing tables or tidying up, the kitchen gang were constantly moving. Hard work was also witnessed amongst the members of a committee who were determined to drive the club forward, both on the pitch and off it. Plans to improve the already snazzy bar area, get smarter strips (Look out for them going on sale by the way, they are seriously braw.) and to earn some silverware were all afoot. They were also a group that were focused on gathering club history, while many sides ignore theirs. On the field, despite a midtable finish, they were pretty deadly in the toughest of conditions and earned a fine win over St Cuthbert Wanderers when we saw them. That form continued and part of the committee’s plans came to fruition much more quickly than anticipated, when Wanderers lifted the Alba Cup at season’s end. Hard work really does pay off guys, congratulations.
Hard working volunteers and a squad playing some quality cup winning level fitba were both certainly commendable, but not quite ‘Club of the Year’ worthy as I’ve seen such things a good few times during my travels. What carried Nithsdale over the line and into award contention was the warmth of the welcome and the friendliness of the club overall. Despite me just being some fat dick fae the internet, with a mere couple of thousand Facebook followers, my companion and I were treated like kings and welcomed like brothers in the fraternity that is football. People down in Sanquhar all seem to have a wee glint in their eye and are either charismatic enough to charm the birds from the trees or so warm & affable that, to almost quote The Bard; “The storm without might rair and rustle, we did na mind the storm a whistle.” There have been a few times where I have felt at home at a club at full time, but never before the ref’s whistle went to start the game. Plus, I’d guarantee most visitors would receive the welcome I got, semi-alcoholic bloggers or not, and I have good reports from others that have felt the warm embrace of Lorimer Park after taking the time to go there.
Even considering all this there is still more to Nithsdale Wanderers; an X-Factor or a certain ‘Je ne sais quoi’ that I still can’t pinpoint. I would ask as many of you head down there as possible to take in a game and tell me what you think it is. Forget “Make America Great Again” this Autumn and concentrate on answering “What Makes The Wanderers Great?”
Honourable Mentions
Scottish football could learn many a lesson from The Vanarama North’s South Shields when it comes to ‘the matchday experience’, with the club providing plenty to enjoy both before and after games. Inside a beautiful Mariner’s Park (which should be a template for clubs in our Championship) I counted four bars, spent time in a rather good hospitality venue and had the opportunity to visit a packed corporate suite. At full time no one is simply told to bugger off either, as bars remain open with one offering karaoke & the Magpies game live and another doing a popular post-match pub quiz. Hurlford United were close contenders to this title as well, as I had high expectations of a club with tremendous fans and those expectations were well & truly met. Generous hosts indeed, with a fantastic bar (including beer garden) and mightily impressive snack hut on site meaning Blair Park must do the best chips in any ground ever. They are a great side to watch on the pitch too and while they disappointed at home against Arthurlie, their 8-0 destruction of Hermes earlier in the season showed me what a formidable side the management team has put together. Lastly I want to briefly mention Fraserburgh, a quintessential Highland League side who had recently renovated their ground, but had done it in keeping with the original style and the results were breath-taking. They were pretty breath-taking on the pitch too, destroying poor Huntly when I visited and fair play to them for taking the title almost down to the wire (an incredible achievement in such a tough division). No bar in a SHFL park, shock horror! However, leaving the gate ajar at halftime so fans can access the local sports bar across the lane was a clever touch. The Broch might be my favourite place to watch Highland League fitba, just a shame the seventeen quid & ninety minute bus journey from Aberdeen makes it more expensive & harder to get to than quality places like Keith, Inverurie & others on the main railway line to Inverness.
The Fitba Nomad 